Do you really understand the WHY behind your CORE VALUES?
What pushes your buttons?
What brings you joy?
What are you truly grateful for?
What makes you frustrated?
Answering just one of these questions can help you gain awareness around your core values.
By “core values,” I don’t mean the morals or ethical standards we’ve come to ‘agree on’ in society… rather, YOUR core values are what makes YOU unique.
Core values are like lighthouses: They’re the signals that give you direction, meaning and purpose. Beacons of truth that serve as the personal, intimate, and internal barometers of what’s important to you… and what isn’t.
When I ask a client what their core values are, they might list high-level themes - like authenticity, compassion, respect, integrity, etc.
But core values are more nuanced than ideals. They’re the secret WHYs behind your CORE beliefs.
Sometimes your values show up the strongest when you experience dissonance - like being overlooked, snubbed, or disrespected. The important thing to notice in that discomfort is which of your values are “being stepped on” or “not being honored.”
Why are core values important?
Core values can be difficult to articulate, but they’re always something that resonates within you. They’re the things that matter most to you, the ways of BEING that you cherish.
Although many of us share common values, each person has a unique set of core beliefs and a unique way their core values resonate.
Clarifying your values and beginning to live in direct alignment with them makes life more fulfilling, meaningful, and joyous. Plus, being clear on your core values reduces stress, frustration, resentment, guilt, shame, and anger.
Sounds like a good thing to get clear about, doesn’t it?
How to discover YOUR core values:
One of the best ways to determine your core beliefs and values i to identify the last time you got extremely upset with a person or a situation…
Perhaps you had an argument or a fight: What was it about? What was going on for you?
The specific details of the incident aren’t important here. You want to reflect on which of your buttons were being pushed -
Did you feel like screaming “THIS IS NOT FAIR”?
Did you feel like someone was stepping all over you?
Did you feel like you weren’t being respected?
Did you feel like you weren’t being heard?
Notice that you can gather insight into your beliefs and values by assessing how you feel about something.
Now, let’s flip it…
When was the last time you felt deeply fulfilled? When was the last time you felt an intense gratitude for an experience or moment? What was going on?
Did you feel honored?
Did you feel respected?
Did you feel close to someone?
Did you feel a sense of inner peace?
Did you feel a sense of appreciation?
Notice how honoring your core values conjures resonance… and neglecting your core values invites dissonance.
You can easily tell based on how you FEEL.
Honoring your values feels good.
NOT honoring your values feels bad.
It’s really THAT simple.
(For a deeper dive, check out the “Mini Value Reflection” on page 97 of Name, Claim & Reframe - Your Path to a Well-Lived Life.)
Food for Thought
One of the main reasons that we become emotionally depleted is because we don’t honor our core values as much as we could.
As a society, we’ve developed strong coping strategies, often bearing huge disharmony in life because we believe, “That’s just the way it is!”
When we don’t value our values, it’s hard to live a life in alignment. But once we get clear on our core values, it’s much easier to have the courage to create “value boundaries,” so we can stay aligned with our integrity.
Sadly, the world we live in makes it easier to “swallow our pride,” “bite the bullet”, and “endure” - rather than to step out of our comfort zones and speak up about what we’re feeling.
But when you discover and clarify your values, it’s easier to live a life that honors your truth.
Being clear about your core values helps you make more informed decisions that lead to a more fulfilled and happy life journey… even in the face of society’s mixed messages.
“What we know matters, but who we are matters more.”
~Brené Brown
If you’re ready to explore core values for yourself, you can find a list of core values RIGHT HERE.
TELL ME: Which values really stand out for you? What important themes would you like to have more of in your life?
Until next time,
Andrea
P.S. Whenever you’re ready to take the next steps along YOUR path to a well-lived life, I’ve got a handful of resources to help -
1. What is your leading leadership energy? Every person, regardless of gender identity, possesses both feminine and masculine energies and the capacity to integrate these two sides of their wholeness.
Do you know whether you lean toward masculine OR feminine energy in your leadership roles? Take this 5-minute quiz and find out!
2. Grab my best-selling book: Name, Claim & Reframe. Learn how to align with your divine feminine ingenuity by releasing the age-old belief that the strong need to become warring Warriors. My 3-step strategy will help you gracefully navigate your path to a well-lived life (and this book is a great place to start!)
3. Join me for an upcoming Name, Claim & Reframe Salon. Like a mock-tail party for the mind, each themed salon invites you to gather and discuss new ideas to expand your thinking about self-power. These LIVE workshop events will help you practice and implement the Name, Claim & Reframe Method - one step at a time!