Reframing Other People’s Opinions
How to Harvest the Good Stuff and Release the Rest
Think about the last time you received feedback that stung—either personal or professional. What story was your inner critic spinning?
Why do we give other people's opinions so much power?
My theory? We give OPOs (Other People's Opinions) power to control our environment so that we ensure our safety and acceptance within what we perceive as the societal norms around us. It's primal, really—our nervous systems trying to keep us in the tribe.
I'll never forget showing my dad a copy of my book when it first came out. His first comment? "Oh, it's paperback... I thought it would be hardcover!"
He was teasing, of course. But before the sting could fully land, I caught myself and said, "Dad, how many people do YOU know who have published a book?"
"None," he admitted.
In that moment, I gently called out the dig and created a boundary—inviting him to shift from critique to celebration. Standing my ground and holding my light changed the energy in the room. We both laughed and then got down to the business of celebrating my accomplishment. This real-time reframe taught me everything I needed to know about taking back my power.
That's when I discovered the power of reframing feedback strategically—catching it before it stings and using it to fuel connection instead of doubt. Here's what I've learned about handling other people's opinions:
🛡️ It's Not About You: Any form of feedback only gives you information about the individual providing it—what they value, what matters to them. Another person's opinion doesn't tell you anything essential about you. The key is learning to REFRAME feedback to match your goals for the future you want to create.
⚖️ Call-In and Cast-Off: When you receive feedback, ask yourself: What does this tell me about the core values of the person giving me feedback?
CALL-IN only the pieces that match your goals for the future
CAST-OFF the pieces that don't support your newly reframed mindset
🐝 Name the Sting: When feedback feels like criticism, slow down and reflect on how it mirrors a core wound, false identity, or limiting belief:
NAME the core wound, false identity, or limiting belief
CLAIM your emotions by separating your ego from the facts around the feedback
REFRAME your below-the-line thinking with a new perspective that supports an above-the-line mindset going forward
✏️ Gather the Facts: Separate your ego from the feedback by gathering the facts about the situation—both positive and negative:
List the facts and look at the situation logically—Name and Claim® the evidence
What story is your inner critic spinning?
Call out the voice and send it away
🎯 Target Your Reframe: Always CLAIM a target objective when you ask for feedback so you can REFRAME critiques to match your goals for learning:
What do I hope to learn here?
What parts of this feedback can I CALL-IN?
Which parts do I need to CAST-OUT?
What interesting new perspectives might help expand my thinking?
These reframes aren't just theory—they're your toolkit for transforming every piece of feedback into fuel for your future. The power has always been yours; now you know how to use it.
Keep shining,
💡Andrea
Chief Reframing Officer @Beyond the Reframe
Want to go deeper? Explore the full framework in my Book and Workbook
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