The Art of Allowing
Why the Universe Has Better Timing Than You Do
"Be patient. Sometimes the wait is longer because the blessing is bigger."
Like Tom Petty sings, "the waiting is the hardest part". I've been feeling angsty lately...It feels as if there is a discrepancy between my timeline for how my life "should" unfold and the reality of what the universe has in mind.
I watch friends post pictures of their grandchildren while my grown kids are still figuring out their next steps. I see peers celebrating their children's promotions, marriages, and milestones while I'm wondering when ours will fully launch into independent adulthood. And add to the mix parenting aging parents instead of the other way around. My husband, Bill, and I call this phase of our life the sandwich years...We're in transition caught in between generations (our children and our parents and feeling the pull and push of expectations and desires that are out of our control.
But it's not just us middle-aged folks feeling this pull... I see thirty-somethings desperately wanting to get pregnant or find their life partner, and it's just not happening on their timeline. Talented young people want to get ahead career-wise, achieve homeownership, and stop living paycheck to paycheck, but the universe seems to have other plans.
It shows up all in all parts. In my business, I constantly question myself: Should I be doing MORE? Chasing more clients? Pushing harder for opportunities? Creating more content? The entrepreneurial hustle culture screams that if you're not growing aggressively, you're failing.
Yet when I am quiet and grounded authentically the wise woman that lives just under my skin rebels against all this “keeping up the the Joneses” energy. What if holding steady and allowing the RIGHT opportunities to find us is actually the more strategic approach? What if forcing things that don't feel aligned is exactly what's keeping us from the next breakthrough?
The comparison game is brutal. Everyone has their own trajectory, but watching from the sidelines while you wait for your life AND business to "click into place" can leave you feeling forgotten by the universe.
But what if your 'delayed' timeline is actually divine timing in disguise?
Here's how to embrace the art of allowing in four transformative ways:
ALLOW #1: Everyone blooms on their own timeline---including your sandwich year family.
For those of us in the sandwich years, this principle is especially challenging because we're watching multiple timelines unfold simultaneously. Your adult children aren't behind---they're on their path, even if that path includes boomeranging back home or taking longer to find their footing than you expected. While we certainly have a VERY vested interest in our adult children, it is their life to navigate...not ours.
Your aging parent isn't "declining"—they're navigating their own timeline of needing more support. That twenty-nine-year-old still living at home isn't failing---they're figuring it out in an economy that's vastly different from when we were their age. The thirty-eight-year-old single woman isn't "running out of time"---she's becoming who she needs to be for the right relationship.
Your business isn't stagnant---it's developing roots while you manage the beautiful chaos of the sandwich years. That friend's grandchild doesn't diminish your story, and that colleague's sudden success doesn't mean you're doing it wrong. The entrepreneur who's been at it for two years without the breakthrough isn't behind---they're building foundation while balancing the needs of multiple generations.
"One day you will look back and see that all along you were blooming," even when it felt like you were just surviving the sandwich.
ALLOW #2: REFRAME the holding patterns as preparation seasons—especially in the sandwich years.
The sandwich years often feel like one giant holding pattern. You're managing everyone else's needs while your own dreams feel on hold. Suddenly parenting your parent feels like the universe got the roles confused. You're expecting to BE the parent they once were, and instead their world has gotten smaller and they need YOU to help them make sense of it. Meanwhile, your adult child moves back home, and you're wondering if you failed somewhere along the way.
But what if this season isn't a delay—it's preparation? The patience you're developing while watching your adult child find their path will serve you in your next business venture. The compassion you're learning while caring for your aging parent is developing your emotional intelligence in ways that will make you a better leader, friend, and human.
The mid-career professional feeling stuck isn't stagnant---they're being prepared for their next evolution while managing the complexity of multiple generations needing their attention. Reframing your mindset from aggressive growth to consistent maintenance in your business feels like you're not ambitious enough, but what if you're actually building something sustainable that can weather the beautiful chaos of this life stage?
Every delay, detour, and "quiet" period is developing the patience, wisdom, and resilience you'll need for what's coming—including the skills to navigate the most complex season of life with grace.
ALLOW #3: Trust that your unique timing extends to everything.
The universe isn't testing you---it's preparing you. While your friend is enjoying their grandchildren, you're developing unconditional patience. While others celebrate rapid business growth, you're building something sustainable. While twenty-somethings are climbing the corporate ladder, you might be discovering entrepreneurship. While others may mourn their parents passing, you're savoring connection and discovering depths of strength you didn't know existed...It's a second chance to gifting your parent unconditional love, compassion and grace.
The forty-something finally going back to school isn't too old---they're right on time. The fifty-year-old starting over after divorce isn't behind---they're beginning their real life. The thirty-five-year-old changing careers isn't unstable---they're brave enough to pursue alignment.
ALLOW #4: Stop forcing what isn't meant for you—including the perfect sandwich year scenario.
"I no longer force things. I only have space and energy for things that are meant for me." This applies to relationships, family dynamics, AND business opportunities—but it's especially crucial during the sandwich years when everyone wants a piece of you.
You can't force your adult child to launch on your timeline. You can't force your aging parent to age gracefully or maintain their independence longer than they're able. You can't force your business to scale while you're managing the needs of multiple generations. When you chase clients who aren't aligned with your core values, accept projects that drain you, or pursue strategies that feel forced, you're blocking space for what actually belongs in your life during this already complex season.
The single person forcing themselves to date just to be in a relationship is blocking space for the right person. The professional staying in a toxic job for security is preventing their breakthrough opportunity. The sandwich generation parent trying to control everyone's timeline is missing the chance to enjoy the unique gifts of this season—like watching your adult child become their own person or having precious time with your aging parent.
Sometimes the art of allowing in the sandwich years means accepting that this season requires a different pace, different priorities, and different definitions of success.
THINK: What if your "delayed" blessings---in life AND business---are actually arriving right on time for who you're becoming?
The art of allowing isn't about being passive. It's about strategic patience. It's about trusting that holding steady while others hustle might be exactly the energy that attracts what you truly want.
“Thy will be done”; It's not giving up on your dreams or desires, but rather releasing the need to control HOW and WHEN they unfold. It's trusting that there's a divine timing and wisdom at work that sees the bigger picture you can't yet see.
When you practice the art of allowing, you stop measuring your life against everyone else's highlight reel and start trusting that your story---personal and professional---is unfolding exactly as it should. You're saying "Thy will be done" to the universe's plan for your life, even when it doesn't match your timeline.
Take your power back by releasing what was never yours to control in the first place and remember that YOUR unique story---both personal and professional---is unfolding exactly as it should. Trust the timing, even when it doesn't match your timeline.
Allowing with intention,
✨Andrea
The Global Authority on Cognitive Reframing
***EXTRA CREDIT: What's one area of your life where you've been forcing instead of allowing?
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